After marrying in 2008, my husband and I discussed and agreed we always wanted children. Two or three kids would be nice! My mother had 3 girls, and her mother had 3 children.
After three years of marriage, and no success, we sought help. We were first told by a urologist that my husband’s sperm count and mobility would make getting pregnant extremely difficult. He suggested fertility treatments if we ever wanted to try for kids.
That was a hard pill to swallow. At that time we were no where near financially able to even attempt any kind of fertility treatment or even more testing. We were only able to find out this information due to other testing my husband needed. We were not seeking fertility answers at that time. We were devastated by this information. It took a long time to digest this, and eventually decided that when we were able to, we would seek further information from a specialist.
After another year or so we sought out a fertility specialist to run more tests and find out what we really needed to do. If you have never gone through any fertility testing, it can be quite embarrassing depending on where you are testing. If you have drop off your sperm to a hospital, having to hand over your bag and tell a stranger what or where its going isn’t pleasant. We had to do this with the urologist. Thankfully with the fertility specialist, his office was private, and they obviously knew what you were handing them. They have the option of using one of their private rooms, or collecting the sample at home and immediately driving it to the office.
A week later we returned to the office. We knew that the news would not be positive but we were hoping for positive news for treatments. Then the specialist spoke 6 words that were forever burned in my mind. “Having a child will be impossible.” He suggested adoption, and mentioned that we could possibly try in vitro but he was not hopeful that it would work due to the sperm count and the sperm mobility. Basically it would be finding a needle in a haystack looking for the perfect sperm sample to work with my egg. And that was all assuming there would be no issues with me, as we had only been testing my husband. I did have two miscarriages with an ex-boyfriend, so I was fertile but not sure I could successfully carry a pregnancy.
After that visit, I buried myself in work. I was an LNA (Licensed Nursing Assistant) and I was an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician). I picked up as many hours with my local Fire Department as I could. I stayed busy and pushed it from my mind. If I couldn’t have kids, I was going to focus all my attention on my career.
In 2014, I had the worst call of my EMS career, an active shooter. I will not go into any details in this post, maybe another post at a later time. This call led to me being diagnosed with PTSD. I also won’t get into those details either in this post, but I will just say that it was really difficult for me to remain living in New Hampshire.
My husband and I bought a camper in late fall of 2014, and made the decision we would drive across country with it, to move to Texas. Planning this move kept me busy. I was planning routes, and campgrounds, and who we could visit along the way.
In March of 2015 I began having extreme stomach cramps. The first day I thought it was just the start of my period, and tried to relax a bit. Then it got really bad. I handle pain pretty well. I had had kidney stones a few times, and two knee surgeries up to that point. This pain doubled me over like a kidney stone. My husband took me to the ER. They ran a few tests and then the doctor came in and asked my husband to step out. That made me think it was something really bad. When she spoke, I was glad I was already laying down. She said, “Your pregnancy test came back positive. I think you are having a miscarriage.” I asked her if the lab switched my urine with someone else. We can’t have kids. Did someone mislabel the container?
I asked her to bring my husband back in, she said something to the effect of she never knows the circumstances around an unplanned pregnancy so she asks the partner to step outside. I let that go, I wasn’t about to try to assume what she meant by that. She told my husband what she told me and he had a similar reaction. Are you sure? Our very first reaction after the shock was happiness. We CAN have kids! Something happened, and we did get pregnant! There is hope!
A little while later the reality of the actual miscarriage hit me. Due to hemorrhaging with my last miscarriage, it was decided to proceed with a D&C for my safety. It was scheduled within a day in outpatient surgery. Everything went well, and I was back home within a few hours.
The end of April 2015 we started our journey to Texas. We arrived the second week of May on a Monday. My period was due the day before we arrived. When it still didn’t come on Friday, I took a test.
We were pregnant!